We take just one vow, to safeguard the welfare and happiness of all our children. That’s our total marriage contract. The rest is just poetic ritual. - Robert A. Heinlein

We don’t have to be convincing—not in the sense of getting converts. Real converts might prove to be a nuisance. We just have to be convincing enough to look like a legitimate religion to our overlords. And that doesn’t have to be very convincing. All religions look equally silly from the outside.

“Scheer, are you any good at counterfeiting?”
“I’ve never tried it, sir.”
“No time like the present. Every man needs an alternative profession.”

But, like theology, metaphysics has no answers. Just questions.
But what lovely questions!…
Metaphysics has polysyllabic words for all of these ideas but you don’t have to use them; Anglo-Saxon monosyllables do just as well for questions that have no answers.
Persons who claim to have answers to these questions invariably are fakers after your money. No exceptions. If you point out their fakery, if you dare to say aloud that the emperor has no clothes, they will lynch you if possible, always from the highest of motives.