Before I speak, I have something important to say. - Groucho Marx

If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.

I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed.

Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.

"According to the wire, you are resting well and are being taken care of by a nurse. I hope she is beautiful and that she has red hair. I don't know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair. Red hair makes a man want to recover his health quickly, so that he can get on his feet and get the nurse off hers." - Groucho Marx, letter to his son