I’m not exactly sympathetic, but I do have a big heart. I h… - Jarod Kintz

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I’m not exactly sympathetic, but I do have a big heart. I have to, to be able to pump all the blood required to operate my massive penis.

Jarod Kintz

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I went out to eat on a restaurant’s opening night. It was packed! I guess people heard I’d be dining there and came to adore me.

Candle making is a half-ass business, because the product is only useful half the day, at night. Why not make candles that double as dildos, and make it a whole-ass business.

My currency is kindness, and while there are no ATMs that dispense it, it’s also not accepted or recognized at strip clubs.

I’m not exactly sympathetic, but I do have a big heart. I have to, to be able to pump all the blood required to operate my massive penis. - Jarod Kintz

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