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I loved being scared as a kid. I loved the darker side of humanity. That was in my brain, even from a very early age. I was always thinking, “What could be the scariest outcome of this situation?” My cousins and I were kind of raised in a pack together—all girls. They always wanted to be princesses. I always wanted to be a witch. Or a killer. My head just went in that direction. Maybe because my father was a film professor, I developed a taste for Alfred Hitchcock. Films like Psycho scared me just the right amount. They didn’t haunt my dreams in a terrible way. I like that sensation of being scared. I’ve always been one of those people who wants to know what’s underneath the rock, what’s down the corner, what’s down the blind alley.
I certainly hope I'm not a scary person in real life, it's not like people run from me when they see me. People are usually pretty nice when they meet me. If they're scared, they keep their shuddering to themselves. But even if you're a nice person, it's easy to be scary as a character in a movie. All you need to do is devoid yourself of any feeling toward other people and regard them as a piece of meat. If you can imagine eating someone, or if you can imagine that person being dead, that can make you seem pretty scary. But if you want to get technical about it, most of what's scary is in the writing, not in the acting.
I wanted to see how I would react. I didn’t think I would actually get through my fear as fast as I did. But was I scared of meeting Robert in makeup? No... well, yes, I’m lying. I don’t want to admit it because I’m 22 years old, and that’s ridiculous. But I was scared for about a year after I saw one of Freddy’s films when I was 7. I wasn’t supposed to be up, but I snuck behind my brother’s chair. And right as I got to the chair, Freddy’s face popped up. I had to go sleep with my mom. And when I say sleep with her, I was probably on top of her.
"I was terrified of death by the time I was three or four, actively if not lucidly. I had frequent nightmares about snakes and scary neighbors. By the age of four or five, I was terrified by my thoughts. By the time I was five, the migraines began. I was so sensitive about myself and the world that I cried or shriveled up at the slightest hurt. People always told me, "You've got to get a thicker skin," like now they might say, jovially, "Let go and let God." Believe me, if I could, I would, and in the meantime I feel like stabbing you in the forehead. Teachers wrote on my report cards that I was too sensitive, excessively worried, as if this were an easily correctable condition, as if I were wearing too much of the violet toilet water little girls wore then."
When I was seven or eight years old, I watched a Chinese horror movie. I can’t recall the title. But some of the scenes made me so scared. They made a very strong impression on me. That evening, it became clear to me what would be my future: I wanted to be a horror filmmaker. I went into the kitchen and then down into the basement and filled a tray with flour. Then I filled a pan with alcohol. I snuck upstairs with all of it and put flour all over my face. I lit the pan filled with alcohol, covered myself with a white sheet, and switched off the lights to the entire building. Slowly, I descended the staircase and walked in the direction of my family sitting in the living room... I looked like a ghost! When they saw me, they screamed in absolute fright. Well, I suppose that was my first introduction to the world of entertainment!
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