My mother's most common childhood memory of me is standing next to me trying to be heard over the voice on the page. I didn't really commit to writin… - Alexander Chee

To survive, much less succeed, I learned I could not give myself over to either pleasure or misery in excess. Whatever you felt was not important.

And then she leaned back her head with the faintest smile and, tapping her chin, asked, Are you in love with him, this mystery composer? How can I be? I asked in return. I don’t even know him. Almost every opera is about this, she said, her smile growing. Love before first sight.

The life I led now I’d made so I would never be her again. I’d never wanted to be reminded of her and her struggles again. And yet I knew I had always been her; I still was her. I