I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing … - Sarah Silverman

I wear this Saint Christopher medal sometimes, because – I'm Jewish, but my boyfriend is Catholic. It was cute, the way he gave it to me. He said if it doesn't burn through my skin, it will protect me. Who cares? Different religions.

On the law that requires women to wait twenty-four hours before they are permitted to have an abortion: I think it's a good law. The other day I wanted to go get an abortion. I really wanted an abortion, but then I thought about it and it turned out I was just thirsty.

I don't care. Good! I hope the Jews did kill Christ. I'd do it again! I'd fucking do it again in a second.