I am the earthquake of love. How you feel is my fault. - Jarod Kintz

My coffee cup is empty. Why don't you pour your love in and wake up my soul?

I speak the language of love. That’s right, I speak Russian.

I wanted to write something that made no linear sense. None. Zero. Something that was 87% pure nonsense, 12% pure alcohol, and 3% orange juice, for a chaser. That formula is accurate, give or take 2% for the milk. In my experience, comedy is 2/3rds tragedy, and one third 33.3 percent. And tragedy started at birth, so humor involving babies is probably the funniest. But even though I didn’t write anything about babies, you might laugh so hard that you’ll regret not wearing a diaper while reading.