I love teamwork. I love the idea of everyone rallying together to help me win. - Jarod Kintz

Not only did I lie about lying, but I lied about lying about lying. And you’d better believe that’s the truth.

I had a missed call. It’s probably the all you can eat buffet calling to say, “Come back! We know you can eat just a little bit more.

I had an out-of-body experience so strange that it felt normal. You see, my soul, or essence, had left my body and went and inhabited the body of my clone. So I wasn’t in my body, and yet I was. Or maybe none of that happened, and I was just in a delirious, sleep-deprived state.