Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face. - Jarod Kintz

Life is made up of only one thing: the now. The past and the future could be considered dreams, if only they were as real. At least a dream is in the now.

I have a real problem keeping friends. I'm always running out of space in my freezer.

All the ideas in the universe can be described by words. Therefore, if you simply take all the words and rearrange them randomly enough times, you’re bound to hit upon at least a few great ideas eventually. Sausage donkey swallows flying guillotine, my love assembly line.