It's a great day for America, everybody. - Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson: Do you do therapy?
Hugh Laurie: I see a gentleman once a week.
Craig Ferguson: I love it, I'm a great convert.
Hugh Laurie: Therapy?
Craig Ferguson: No, just seeing a gentleman once a week.

[When beginning the cold open with another person] Please state your name for the camera.

The trouble I have with astrophysics or quantum mechanics is the same problem I have with philosophy; which is: initially it is mind blowing, then it is fascinating, then it is disturbing, then it is almost uncomprehensible, then it's fascinating again, then you disappear up your own ass.