California's a wonderful place to live - if you happen to be an orange. - Fred Allen

All the sincerity in Hollywood you could stuff in a flea's navel and still have room left to conceal eight caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.