Love is a Heaven Cake, with clouds for icing. If there are two pieces left, I guess I can have seconds. - Jarod Kintz

I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed in a trunk and dropped off in the middle of the forest. My dad was a complex man, but I believe he was trying to show me the value of camping.

I had a dream about you. We were at a buffet, but instead of eating food, we were forced to eat our words. You were eating words like “Winner,” “Victory,” and Triumphant,” while I was eating words like “Macaroni,” “Pizza,” and “Meatloaf.

When anybody asks me what time it is, I always say, “Yesterday, plus 24 hours.