I went into a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. - Steven Wright

Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for.

So I figured I'd leave the area, because I had no ties there anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes: I really wasn't into meditating and she wasn't really into being alive. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date.

You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.