I don't want to be tied down in a relationship, I want to b… - Jarod Kintz

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I don't want to be tied down in a relationship, I want to be tied down during sex.

Jarod Kintz

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About Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz is an American author of absurdist humor, known for self-published collections of surreal one-liners and random thoughts. His prolific, often meta-titled works include "This Book is Not for Sale," "99 Cents for Some Nonsense," and "This Book Title is Invisible," published largely through Amazon Kindle. Widely quoted online for his deadpan, nonsensical voice, he describes himself as a writer, absurdist, and duck farmer based in the American South.

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

An ice sculpture in the Sahara makes about as much sense as donkey left open gaping wagon, Sergeant (add cream cheese sparingly).

You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash.

I type as fast as a ten-legged man who just had eight legs chopped off runs.

I don't want to be tied down in a relationship, I want to be tied down during sex. - Jarod Kintz

About Jarod Kintz

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz