Ambrose Bierce Quotes

American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist (1842–1914)

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Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (June 24, 1842 – date of death uncertain; probably late 1912 or early 1914) was an American satirist, critic, short story writer, editor and journalist. He is perhaps most famous for his serialized mock lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary, in which, over the years, he scathed American culture and accepted wisdom by pointing out alternate, more practical definitions for common words.

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Pen Names: Dod Grile • William Herman

Birth Name: Ambrose Gwinnetter Bierice

Alternative Names: Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce

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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.

MERCHANT, n. One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

happiness may come if not sought, but if looked for will never be seen;

"for St. Andrew, who "testified" upon one of that shape. In the algebra of psychology x stands for Woman's mind."

BATTLE, n. A method of untying with the teeth of a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

Land, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure. Carried to its logical conclusion, it means that some have the right to prevent others from living; for the right to own implies the right exclusively to occupy; and in fact laws of trespass are enacted wherever property in land is recognized. It follows that if the whole area of terra firma is owned by A, B and C, there will be no place for D, E, F and G to be born, or, born as trespassers, to exist.

In'ards, n. pl. The stomach, heart, soul, and other bowels.

there may be thunder in Europe but it is in America the lightning will fall

Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.

His virtues were so conspicuous that his enemies, unable to overlook them, denied them, and his friends, to whose loose lives they were a rebuke, represented them as vices. They are here commemorated by his family, who shared them.

Quotation, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. The words erroneously repeated.

Her locks an ancient lady gave
Her loving husband's life to save;
And men — they honored so the dame — Upon some stars bestowed her name.

But to our modern married fair,
Who'd give their lords to save their hair,
No stellar recognition's given.
There are not stars enough in heaven.

Wall street, n. a symbol of sin for every devil to rebuke. That wall street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in heaven

Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.