Yahtzee Croshaw Quotes

It's easy to make games for kids, they're dumb little shits.

Saying that a smoker inhales over 4000 chemicals is as meaningful as saying that fun runners pass over 4000 different kinds of rock, and because that rock may contain dinosaur fossils, said fun runners are at risk of velociraptor attack. (21 March 2007)

'Medium,' 'Large' and 'King Size'? What the fuck is that? How the fuck can 'Medium' be the smallest? Do you even know what the word 'Medium' means? This is why you're all so fat, you bunch of road sign-shooting Yankee pillocks.

Thinking about morality. If you had to choose, would you save one baby or five old people? What if the baby had a Hitler moustache? (31 December 2010)

Since I long ago decided that I hated kids and never wanted to have them, my reproductive instinct has transferred to my creativity, I've always wanted to create works that will ensure I'm remembered after I die. I don't think I've done that yet, though.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum, fuckers. (25 April 2005)

...so come along and watch me fearfully from fifty yards away like you usually do. (6 September 2009)

With infinite choice at our fingertips, we don't have to expose ourselves for an instant to anything that challenges our views if we don't want to. So the walls of the echo chambers grow stronger and stronger, until we only hear from the echo chamber next door when the shouty extremists are shouting, and their absurd views only make us more convinced of our own righteousness.

Keep in mind that this is only my opinion, but also keep in mind that I'm always right. (The Only Good Comics on the Internet)

Christians are a funny lot, aren't they? It doesn't seem to matter what their God does, they'll just keep on loving him regardless. (8 November 2003)

You know how it is, you go away for a week and all the work piles up like a big heap of mail holding your front door closed. (8 November 2009)

Did we learn nothing from Terminator 3? Apart from the fact that Arnold Schwarzeneggar can act in the same way that octopi can figure skate. (27 March 2005)

This [article] doesn't mean that I actually want to be Lara Croft. In writing this I'm not admitting that I occasionally dress up in a tight top and khaki hotpants and prance around pointing two hairdryers at my dog. In this little article I am pointing out why, if you happen to be Lara Croft, that you should be very pleased with yourself. (Why it would kick arse to be Lara Croft)

Games should be remembered, not remastered.

I rolled my eyes at Rose, but she returned the look with a scowl which suggested that, if we ever got out of this alive, she would have some issues to address with myself and my polaroid camera. (Chapter Nine)