Bill Watterson Quotes

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

"Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.”
“That’s thoughtful of you.”
"See, on the front it says, ‘Get Well Soon’ … and on the inside it says,’Because my bed isn’t made, my clothes need to be put away and I’m hungry. Love Calvin.’ Want to sign it?”
“Sure, I’m hungry too

I'm learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework...procrastinating and negotiation.

I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?

As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

For no reason I can think of, I've wandered far astray. And that is how I got to where I find myself today.

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential — as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.

You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them.

To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.

From now on I’ll connect the dots my own way.