Bill Watterson Quotes

American comic artist

William B. "Bill" Watterson II (born July 5 1958) is the author of the comic-strip Calvin and Hobbes.

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Birth Name: William Boyd Watterson II

Alternative Names: Bill Watterson II

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A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?

As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

Calvin: Dad where do babies come from?
Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions.
Calvin: I came from Sears?
Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart - almost as good and a lot cheaper!

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity.

It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy... Let's go exploring!

I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!

Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?

I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.]
Susie: Hello?
Calvin: Hi, Susie! It's me, Calvin! I was wondering if you'd like to come over and play.
Susie: Why, sure! Boy, I don't think you've ever invited me to...
Calvin's Mom: Calvin, what are you doing?
Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away.
Calvin's Mom: You're contagious! You can't have anyone over to play!
Calvin: Shhhh! Shhhh! You'll spoil the whole thing! I was going to trick Susie into catching... HEY! OW! LET GO!
Susie: [Hanging up the phone] Any chance of getting transferred, Dad?