Bill Watterson Quotes

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

"I'm a misunderstood genius."
"What's misunderstood?"
"Nobody thinks I'm a genius."

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

CALVIN:
Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor?

When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny.

Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?

HOBBES:
I suppose if we couldn't laugh at the things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

CALVIN:
This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?
If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?
And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?
HOBBES:
I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday?
CALVIN:
Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.

Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.

I'm learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework...procrastinating and negotiation.

God put me on earth to accomplish certain things. Right now, I’m so far behind, I’ll never die.

"Calvin: I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! Want to see my book report?
Hobbes: (Reading Calvin's paper) "The Dynamics of Interbeing and Monological Imperatives in Dick and Jane: A Study in Psychic Transrelational Gender modes."
Calvin: Academia, here I come!"