which way the man should choose is not the issue here at all. Whichever way he goes he will have problems. The deeper problem is mistaking a “fact” in life for the “truth” of life, the former simply being an aspect of our psychological or emotional landscape by which we need not be pulled and tossed about, while the latter is that reality of life upon which we settle as “true adults”. “True adults” is an expression the Rōshi uses to mean bodhisattvas.

"Living out life is different from the art of competition for survival. If you go through the world with the attitude "I care for livelihood, money, and nothing more, but anyway let's have a baby," you will fall into a pit in the final stage of your life, just like him."

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In general, when you are a beginner, you cannot fathom the buddha way. Your assumptions do not hit the mark. The fact that you cannot fathom the buddha way as a beginner means not that you lack ultimate understanding but that you do not recognize the deepest point.