Dorothy Parker Quotes

American poet, short story writer, critic and satirist (1893-1967)

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Dorothy Parker (August 22, 1893 – June 7, 1967) was an American writer, poet, and critic. A fixture of 1920s literary society known for her acerbic wit and low opinion of romantic relationships, she became a member of the Algonquin Round Table.

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Birth Name: Dorothy Rothschild

Alternative Names: Dot Rothschild • Dottie Rothschild

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And there was that wholesale libel on a Yale prom. If all the girls attending it were laid end to end, Mrs Parker said, she wouldn't be at all surprised.

If you arrive late, you won't know what anything is about, and if you are there all the way from the beginning, you won't care. p. 277

So seeing that there is nothing further to say, I shall go right on talking about The Circle, thus proving that I am a born reviewer of plays. p. 256

All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.

The play holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinée. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many. p. 121

There is no such hour on the present clock as 6:30, New York time. Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.

Age Before Beauty." "Pearls Before Swine."

Too fucking busy, and vice versa.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

One more drink and I'd have been under the host.

Naturally, you know how you would feel on setting out to see a performance of Aucassin and Nicolette done by a company of little ones; you would strive to hurl yourself beneath the wheels of a friendly truck, on your way to the theatre. p. 233

[On being told of Calvin Coolidge's death] How do they know? (Coolidge was known as a man who said very few words.)

Writing a book for the Follies seems to be about as profitable an occupation as furnishing flannel petticoats for the showgirls. p. 151

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

The management's method of procedure is evidently to hire some well-known man to write the book, and then, as soon as it is written, to give it away to some deserving family, and go out and engage an assortment of specialty acts. p. 151