Gary Chapman Quotes

Quality time does not mean we must spend our moments gazing into each other's eyes. It may mean doing something together that we both enjoy. The particular activity is secondary, only a means to creating the sense of togetherness. The important thing is not the activity itself but the emotions that are created between both.

Dr. Dorothy Tennov, a psychologist, has done long-range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years.

What is emotional intimacy? It is that depp sense of being connected to one another. It is feeling loved, respected and appreciated, while at the same time seeking to reciprocate. To feel loved is to have the sense that the other person genuinely cares about your well-being. Respect has to do with feeling that your potential spouse has positive regard for your personhood, intellect, abilities and personality. Appreciation is that inner sense that your partner values your contribution to the relationship.

The apostle Paul stated it clearly when he said, “In your anger do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26). The challenge is not “Don’t get angry;” the challenge is not to sin when we are angry.

The best way to love your children is to love their mother [father].” That’s true. The quality of your marriage greatly affects the way you relate to your children — and the way they receive love. If your marriage is healthy — both partners treating each other with kindness, respect, and integrity — you and your spouse will feel and act as partners in parenting.

Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.

When my spouse lovingly invests time, energy, and effort in me, I believe that I am significant. Without love, I may spend a lifetime in search of significance, self-worth, and security. When I experience love, it influences all of those needs positively. I am now freed to develop my potential. I am more secure in my self-worth and can now turn my efforts outward instead of being obsessed with my own needs. True love always liberates. In the context of marriage, if we do not feel loved, our differences are magnified. We come to view each other as a threat to our happiness. We fight for self-worth and significance, and marriage becomes a battlefield rather than a haven. Love is not the answer to everything, but it creates a climate of security in which we can seek answers to those things that bother us. In the security of love, a couple can discuss differences without condemnation. Conflicts can be resolved. Two people who are different can learn to live together in harmony. We discover how to bring out the best in each other. Those are the rewards of love.

"True love cannot begin until the "in love" experience has run it's course."

The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love. It is a fact, however, that when we receive afirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate.

God loves you — as a person and as a unique individual. — Susan Campbell —

The one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision everyday.

Sometimes our words are saying one thing, but our tone of voice is saying another. We are sending double messages. Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use.