People determine how to treat us in large part by observing how we treat ourselves. The way you speak about yourself affects how people will speak with you. the way you allow yourself to be spoken to reinforces what people think you deserve.

What we judge/envy/suspect in someone else can guide us to the darkness we have within ourselves. Our envy, impatience, suspicion with someone else tells us something about ourselves. Negative projections and suspicions reflect our own insecurities and get in our way.

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When monks talk about happiness, they tell the story of the musk deer, a tale derived from a poem by Kabir, a fifteenth-century Indian mystic and poet. The musk deer picks up an irresistible scent in the forest and chases it, searching for the source, not realizing that the scent comes from its own pores. It spends its whole life wandering fruitlessly. In the same way we search for happiness, finding it elusive, when it can be found within us.