My thought is me: that’s why I can’t stop. I exist because I think … and I can’t stop myself from thinking. At this very moment — it’s frightful — if I exist, it is because I am horrified at existing. I am the one who pulls myself from the nothingness to which I aspire: the hatred, the disgust of existing, there are as many ways to make myself exist, to thrust myself into existence. Thoughts are born at the back of me, like sudden giddiness, I feel them being born behind my head … if I yield, they’re going to come round in front of me, between my eyes — and I always yield, the thought grows and grows and there it is, immense, filling me completely and renewing my existence.

All I want is' - and he uttered the final words through clenched teeth and with a sort of shame - 'to retain my freedom.'

I should myself have thought,' said Jacques, 'that freedom consisted in frankly confronting situations into which one had deliberately entered, and accepting all one's responsibilities. But that, no doubt, is not your view.

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اليوم...إنني وحيد وحدة قاتلة والبارحة...وحيد أيضا وماقبل البارحة إني أيضا كنت وحيد وهكذا أعيش حياتي مصارعا كل ليلة روتين حياتي المقيت والمقزز والذي ينتهي كل ليلة بالأنتصار علي دافعاً إياي للذهاب للنوم خافضاً رأسي أمام كل أشياء المنزل الموجودين وجوداً مصطنعاً والذين يسخرون مني و يستهزؤن من أنني أنا أيضا مثلهم لم أستطع أن أحقق وجودي وأهزم العدم المطلق قي حياتي وبذلك أكون مثلهم موجوداً وجوداً زائداً في الحياة