Jonathan Swift

The tiny Lilliputians surmise that Gulliver's watch may be his god, because it is that which, he admits, he seldom does anything without consulting.

Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.

todas as terras que um súdito descobre, pertencem, de direito, à coroa.

Every dog must have his day.

descubrí cómo escritores prostituidos han extraviado al mundo hasta hacerle atribuir las mayores hazañas de la guerra a los cobardes, los más sabios consejos a los necios, sinceridad a los aduladores, virtud romana a los traidores a su país, piedad a los ateos, veracidad a los espías;

I have fed like a farmer: I shall grow as fat as a porpoise.

I 've often wish'd that I had clear,
For life, six hundred pounds a year;
A handsome house to lodge a friend;
A river at my garden's end;
A terrace walk, and half a rood
Of land set out to plant a wood.

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.

Then gave him some familiar Thumps,
A College Joke to cure the Dumps.

Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.

Fingers were made before forks, and hands before knives.

When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign; that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.

I have one word to say upon the subject of profound writers, who are grown very numerous of late; and I know very well the judicious world is resolved to list me in that number. I conceive therefore, as to the business of being profound, that it is with writers as with wells - a person with good eyes may see to the bottom of the deepest, provided any water be there: and often when there is nothing in the world at the bottom besides dryness and dirt, though it be but a yard and a-half under-ground, it shall pass, however, for wondrous deep upon no wiser reason than because it is wondrous dark

Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it.

Men are contented to be laughed at for their wit, but not for their folly.