Jonathan Swift Quotes

When a great office is vacant, either by death or disgrace (which often happens,) five or six of those candidates petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a dance on the rope; and whoever jumps the highest, without falling, succeeds in the office.

One enemy can do more hurt than ten friends can do good.

A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.

I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar’s child ... to be about two shillings per annum, rags included; and I believe no gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good fat child, which, as I have said, will make four dishes of excellent nutritive meat.

Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may flay the carcass; the skin of which artificially dressed will make admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen.

Laws are like Cobwebs which may catch small Flies, but let Wasps and Hornets break through. But in Oratory the greatest Art is to hide Art.

This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavor to do himself honor among those who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him.

وقتی نابغه‌ای حقیقی در دنیا پیدا می‌شود می‌توانید او را از این نشانه بشناسید؛
تمام ابلهان علیهش متحد می‌شوند!

Politics, as the word is commonly understood, are nothing but corruptions, and consequently of no use to a good king or a good ministry; for which reason Courts are so overrun with politics.

She has more goodness in her little finger, than he has in his whole body.

Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.

... a wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable companion, because she cannot always be young.

The empress, and young princes of the blood of both sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at some distance in their chairs; but

how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do himself honour among those who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him.

Libertas et natale solum:
Fine words! I wonder where you stole 'em.

The power of fortune is confessed only by the miserable; for the happy impute all their success to prudence or merit.