Whoever you think you are, you do not talk to me that way. Not ever. I am not your daughter. How you speak to your own child in your own house is your own business. You can make her cry for all I care; she's your kid, not mine. But that's her, it isn't me. Or can't you tell the two of us apart? Because if you can't, then you've got a far more serious problem than the one that brought you here today. That bigger problem is Byrd.
American television judge
Judith Sheindlin (born October 21, 1942) is an American lawyer, judge, TV personality and author, best known to the public as Judge Judy after her internationally popular daytime TV program of the same name. She is well-known for her sharp tongue and no-nonsense wit. Her bailiff on the show is Petri Hawkins-Byrd.
From: Wikiquote (CC BY-SA 4.0)
Birth Name:
Judith Susan Blum
Native Name:
Judith Sheindlin
Alternative Names:
Judy Blum
•
Judith Blum
•
Judge Judy
•
Judith Susan Sheindlin
From Wikidata (CC0)
Showing quotes in randomized order to avoid selection bias. Click Popular for most popular quotes.
PREMIUM FEATURE
Advanced Search Filters
Filter search results by source, date, and more with our premium search tools.
Judy: [indicating defendant's sister, who has worn a mini-dress to court with a matching jacket] Where's the rest of her outfit? [audience laughs] Defendant: That was the most... professional clothing she could find, I guess. Judy: [to sister] You don't have a pair of long pants? Defendant's Witness: I do, but I... I just feel this is appropriate, since it's sold in stores. Defendant: Sold in, like, business apparel stores. Defendant's Witness: Yes, business apparel. [Judy and Byrd share an incredulous glance] Byrd: Different kind of business, I guess. Judy: [to sister] Do you go to church? Defendant's Witness: I'm a Christian. Judy: Did you ever go to church? Defendant's Witness: [giggling] Yes... Judy: [audience laughs and she raps on her table for them to be quiet] Did you ever go to church? Defendant's Witness: Yes, I did. Judy: Would you wear that outfit to church? Defendant's Witness: No, I wouldn't. Judy: No. You know, I just wanted to know where your head was at...When did the plaintiff put a fuel pump in your car? Defendant: Um, I would say May. Judy: May of 2010? Defendant: Yep. Around my birthday. Judy: "Yep" is not an answer. Defendant: Yes. Judy: [points to defendant's sister] "Yes" is an answer. "Yep" goes with that outfit. [audience laughs again]
to a young woman suing a former friend for a broken toilet: The toilet broke while she was using it - that doesn't mean that she broke it, and it doesn't mean that she's responsible for it! Toilets break - I had one just break in my apartment last week! Cost me $650 to put in a new toilet! You think I went around to try to find the last person who sat on it? [audience breaks into laughter] Don't be STUPID! GROW UP! That's all.
Enhance Your Quote Experience
Enjoy ad-free browsing, unlimited collections, and advanced search features with Premium.
Judy: Listen to me very carefully, sir. I don't want you to give me the Dumb Routine. Do you know what I'm talking about? If you're dumb, I'll know you're dumb. If you give me the dumb routine, I know it's a dumb routine. Defendant: Yes, ma'am. Judy: I know the difference, Mr. Carey. Do you understand that? Defendant: [grinning] Yes, ma'am. Judy: Okay, very good. Now we understand each other, sir. Believe me, by the time this is over you're not gonna be smiling.
to a young woman who was being sued by her aunt for a loan for breast augmentation: And instead of her paying it back every month, you should pay it back every month - certainly you don't go in and get bigger breasts while somebody is sitting there paying back money that they "gave" to you during the course of an emergency! And I don't care if she's harassing you and your family, because quite frankly, you deserve to be harassed! Judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of $3500, that's all.