Mark Twain Quotes

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel they have not said enough.

The silent colossal National Lie that is the support and confederate of all the tyrannies and shams and inequalities and unfairnesses that afflict the peoples — that is the one to throw bricks and sermons at.

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods; it remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

July 4th. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.

It is sound judgment to put on a bold face and play your hand for a hundred times what it is worth; forty-nine times out of fifty nobody dares to call it, and you roll in the chips.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not.

Let us not be too particular. It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all.

You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.

The kingly office is entitled to no respect; it was originally procured by the highwayman’s methods; it remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is not more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate. A monarch, (whether good or bad), when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday school between crimes; when bad, (or a nullity) he is entleed [sic] to none at all.

Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.

[Adam] A man who comes down to us without a stain upon his name, unless it was a stain to take one apple when most of us would have taken the whole crop.

Reputation is a hallmark. It can remove doubt from pure silver and it can also make the plated article pass for pure. And so people without a hallmark of their own are always trying to get the loan of somebody's else's.

Imagination labors best in distant fields.