Australian writer (1916-1999)
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Because I am a man, I have experience f fear, love and death Because I have been, like you, a political an, I understand the usages of power and its limitations, to! Because I am a Minister of the Word, I know that I am peddling a folly in the market place and that I risk to be stoned for it. You, too, my friends are peddling follies - monstrous insanities - and all of us rish to perish by them!
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I can write no more today. The contemplation of my sorry state has reduced me to so deep a melancholy that I contemplate opening my wrist like Petronius Arbiter and lapsing quietly into oblivion. Unlike Petronius, however, I shall have neither the sound of music nor the gentle talk of friends. I still have time to choose a better moment — besides, who knows to what nightmares I might awake.
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I feel the life slipping out of me. When the pain comes, I cry out, but there is no prayer in it, only fear. I kneel and recite my office and the Rosary but the words are empty - dry gourds rattling in the silence. The dark is terrible and I feel so alone. I see no signs but the symbols of contradiction. I try to dispose myself to faith, hope and charity, but my will is a blown reed in the winds of despair.