Ogden Nash Quotes

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

The weather is so very mild
That some would call it warm.
Good gracious, aren't we lucky, child?
Here comes a thunderstorm.

Hark to the sky of a seagull!
He cries because he's not an eagle.
Oh, what if you were you silly he-gull?
What would you say to your she-gull?

I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.

Whether elected or appointed
He considers himself the Lord's annointed,
And indeed the ointment lingers on him
So thick you can't get your fingers on him.

"Baclli swarm within my portals

Such as ne'r conceived by mortals,

But, bred by scientists,

Wise and hoary in some Olympian laboratory.

Bacteria as large as mice

With feet of fire and heads of ice,

Who never interrupt for slumber

Their stomping, elephantine rumba.

( From the poem — - " The Common Cold " )"

When called by a panther,
Don't anther.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Purity Is obscurity.

Indoors or out, no one relaxes
In March, that month of wind and taxes,
The wind will presently disappear,
The taxes last us all the year.

Oh, than to enjoy a storm like this
There's nothing I would rather, Don't dive between the blankets, Miss!
Or else leave room for Father.

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.
~ Ogden Nash

Unwillingly Miranda wakes,
Feels the sun with terror,
One unwilling step she takes,
Shuddering to the mirror.

Miranda in Miranda's sight
Is old and gray and dirty;
Twenty-nine she was last night;
This morning she is thirty.

Shining like the morning star,
Like the twilight shining,
Haunted by a calendar,
Miranda is a-pining.

Silly girl, silver girl,
Draw the mirror toward you;
Time who makes the years to whirl
Adorned as he adored you.

Time is timelessness for you;
Calendars for the human;
What's a year, or thirty, to
Loveliness made woman?

Oh, Night will not see thirty again,
Yet soft her wing, Miranda;
Pick up your glass and tell me, then — How old is Spring, Miranda?

Abracadabra, thus we learn, The more you create, the less you earn. The less you earn, the more you're given, The less you lead, the more you're driven, The more destroyed, the more they feed, The more you pay, the more they need The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul should take If the tax collector hasn't got it before I wake.

Once in a night as black as pitch
Isabel met a wicked old witch.
the witch's face was cross and wrinkled,
The witch's gums with teeth were sprinkled.
Ho, ho, Isabel! the old witch crowed,
I'll turn you into an ugly toad!
Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry.
Isabel didn't scream or scurry.
She showed no rage and she showed no rancor,
But she turned the witch into milk, and drank her.