Scott Adams Quotes

Biblical scholars tell us that this is the same meal that Jesus ate at the last supper. But hey, I’m sure you have a good reason for ordering something else.

Stacey puts a little love in each pasta shell. But it’s self-love, so it won’t help you that much.

If you don’t believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.

This dish might not turn you into a syndicated cartoonist, but whatever you’re doing now probably isn’t working either.

We use only the finest days of the week in this dish.

If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.

Our salmon sandwiches are so good you’ll want to swim upstream to our kitchen and spawn. But please don’t.

This sandwich used to include endive, but no one wanted to eat a BELT.

We smoke the bacon so you don’t have to.

Named after the great romaine emperor, Julius Salad.

If you have questions about this salad, give your server the spinach inquisition.

If you think it’s easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you’ve probably never tried.

We know the goats are imported because they don’t speak English.

You might think the word “homemade” is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don’t realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that’s why.

My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.