Steve Martin Quotes

Hmm. Reports of a monster in the Loch Ness. It baffles the scientists, and it bothers me. I do not need these little mysteries. The unexplainable makes me nervous. I have my home, and everything that comes in the door I understand. I don’t have to worry that the faucet will spit fire. I do not have to worry that the bird will attack the dog. The clock will strike six when it is six and not seven. It is like me; it is my kind of clock.

How’s the uh..uh..(look at palm) SCREENPLAY going… uh..uh..(racking brain) LESLIE NIELSEN.” Yipes. Or:

Rehearsing at home for tomorrow’s CSI cameo, “face down dead body without a chalk outline.” Maid screams. Wife calls lawyer, then 911.

Did not go well at mall. Passerby said, “how’s the screenplay goin’, Steve?” Worried about tomorrow’s performance on CSI… and Emmy.

Rouge et Noir

Next phase of weight loss program: Brazilian Butt Workout. I’ve looked at a hundred photos. So far, not working.

There’s a rumor that a recent Oscar host is going to play Catwoman. Waiting by my phone for the call.

Preparing for Catwoman role by leaping off roof into shrub. On third try, I managed to hit the shrub.

a real scholar with a bright pen,

At this point, Ray Porter imagines an entirely different iceberg beneath Mirabelle's psychic waterline than the one that actually exists.

I think communication is so firsbern.

might try for a doctorate in philosophy and become a teacher, as teaching is, after all, a form of show business.

as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.

Moving on and not looking back, not living in the past, was a way to trick myself into further creativity.

Mirabelle is not affected by a man's failure to approach her, as her own self-deprecating attitude never allows the idea that he would in the first place.