Tom Robbins Quotes

There are essential and inessential insanities. The latter are solar in character, the former are linked to the moon.

Let me see if I can put it in words that even the inebriated might understand.

All Uncle Larry is saying is that individuals have to accept responsibility for their own bad choices. If every time we choose a turd, society, at great expense, simply allows us to redeem it for a pepperoni, then not only will we never learn to make smart choices, we will also surrender the freedom to choose, because a choice without consequences is no choice at all. Maybe it boils down to the premium we want to place on liberty.

The first time that she spread her legs for him it had been like opening her jaws for the dentist.

It couldn't have been Pan's output alone because Alobar's testicles were as flat and juiceless as trampled grapes.

It doesn't matter how sensitive you are or how damn smart and educated you are, if you're not both at the same time, if your heart and your brain aren't connected, aren't working together harmoniously, well, you're just hopping through life on one leg. You may think you're walking, you may think you're running a damn marathon, but you're only on a hop trip. The connections gotta be maintained.

Those who shun the whimsy of things will experience rigor mortis before death.

The man and woman firmly shook hands. The solution to the overpopulation problem might rest in such handshakes.

"Conversation between a princess and an outlaw:
"If I stand for fairy-tale balls and dragon bait — dragon bait — what do you stand for?"
"Me? I stand for uncertainty, insecurity, bad taste, fun, and things that go boom in the night."
"Franky, it seems to me that you've turned yourself into a stereotype."
"You may be right. I don't care. As any car freak will tell you, the old models are the most beautiful, even if they aren't the most efficient. People who sacrifice beauty for efficiency get what they deserve."
"Well, you may get off on being a beautiful stereotype, regardless of the social consequences, but my conscience won't allow it."
"And I goddamn refuse to be dragon bait. I'm as capable of rescuing you as you are of rescuing me."
"I'm an outlaw, not a hero. I never intended to rescue you. We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.

Birth and death were easy. It was life that was hard.

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans.

The key to self-generated happiness (the only reliable kind) is the refusal to take oneself too seriously.

In the quiet ache of the evening, Alobar listened to his calluses grow.

My faith is whatever makes me feel good about being alive. If your religion doesn't make you feel good to be alive, what the hell is the point of it?

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need.