Tom Waits Quotes

Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk.

If you get far enough away you'll be on your way back home.

The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering. It cheapens and degrades the human experience, when it should inspire and elevate.

I collaborate with my wife on the songs, and every aspect of it, really— composing, and arranging, and recording, all that business. We have a rhythm and a way of working it. It's kind of like borrowing the same ten bucks from somebody over and over again. But when you live together, it makes it a lot easier, the pay back.

The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.

The piano has been drinking, not me.

She's been married so many times she's got rice marks all over her face

The dog won't bite if you beat Him with a bone

Disneyland is Vegas for children. When I went with the kids, I just about had a stroke. It's the opposite of what they say it is. It's not a place to nurture the imagination. It's just a big clearance sale for useless items. I'm not going back, and the kids won't be allowed to return until they're eighteen, out of the house. And even then, I would block their decision.

How do the angels get to sleep / When the Devil leaves his porch light on?

Our Father, who art in Cribari, hallowed be thy glass. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in the lounges. Give us this day our daily splash, and forgive us our hangovers as we forgive those who continue to hangover against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil...and somebody give us all a ride home.

And their mouths are cut like razor blades, and their eyes are like stilettos, and her radiator's steaming and her teeth are in a wreck, she won't let you kiss her, but what in the hell do you expect?

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness....We are monkeys with money and guns.

And sometime around 2 AM you end up taking advantage of yourself. Ain't no way around that. Making a scene with a magazine.

If there's one thing you can say about mankind, there's nothing kind about man.