Wesley Willis Quotes

American musician and artist (1963–2003)

Wesley Willis (May 31, 1963 – August 21, 2003) was a musician who did mostly solo work, but also worked with the punk rock band known as the Wesley Willis Fiasco. His simple and unique style of music quickly gained him a cult following. He heavily praised Rock music and other artists who played in that genre. He was schizophrenic and was known to call rock his joyride.

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Alternative Names: Wesley Lawrence Willis • Wesley Willis And The Dragnews

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"When the police pulled up, I was doomed / I was arrested for possession of a controlled substance / I was taken to the metal clink / I was nothing but a loser" - I Smoke Weed

"You are nothing but a crazy ass jerk!" - You Fucked That Man's Car Up

"Suck a polar bear's funky ass!" - Suck a Cheetah's Dick

Take your ass to the barber shop / Tell the barber you're sick of looking like an asshole" - Cut the Mullet

At 10:00 PM, I drove my bronco back to Birdman's real estate / I jumped over his fence after dark / I picked up a brick and shattered Birdman's window pane / Birdman sighted me doing it and reached for his pistol / Suddenly I jumped back in my bronco and took off like O.J. Simpson" - Birdman Kicked My Ass

"I smoke my crack pipe everyday / I have a good time at it / I jack my mother for dope money / I do it by threatening her life with a semi-automatic" - I Smoke Weed

"You are my favorite movie star / You are my big buddy / You are a low-down rotten man / You are crazy like a roll lizard" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Number 1. I'm gonna do this song again. Number 2. I'm gonna do this song again all the way up your ass. Number 3. I'm gonna fuck your ass up like in a car crash. Number 4. I'm gonna fuck you up like a goddamn accident. Number 5. Jesus is the answer!

"Christmas is Jesus Christ's birthday! / That's what it is all about in the mix!" - Merry Christmas

"Spider-Man messed with my girlfriend / Spider-Man wrapped his arms around her with my bedroom door closed / Suddenly, I opened the bedroom door on Spider-Man's sneaky ass / I caught him kissing my girlfriend and beat him to a pulp with a rubber hose" - I Whipped Spider-Man's Ass

From now on, I'm staying away from fatty foods, by eating healthy foods, and going on a strict diet

Once upon a time, I was cursing at Daniels Chapel AME Zion Church / I called one of the deacons a motherfucker / Reverend Henry E. Miller preached about my vulgar language / He told the congregation in the sanctuary that I got a nasty filthy mouth" - They Threw Me Out of Church

My demons talk to me in profanity. They think I'm a jerk. A bum. And an asshole. I just say they're a jerk, they're a bum, they're an asshole. They're no good. They better leave me alone and get off my case.

"I used to eat McDonald's hamburgers / I used to eat three Big Macs a night / In 1992, I gained 23 more pounds / Suddenly, I weighed 360 pounds heavier" - I'm Slimming Down

"The bandit wore a werewolf mask" - Attempted Armed Robbery

Wesley Willis Quotes

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