Wesley Willis Quotes

"After I stole your Sony ESP Car Discman, I went across the street to a gas station / I found me an empty jug and filled it up with gasoline / Suddenly, I ran back to your Lamborghini to set it on fire / I doused your Lamborghini with gasoline and torched it" - I Broke Out Your Windshield

"You are my favorite movie star / You are my big buddy / You are a low-down rotten man / You are crazy like a roll lizard" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

"You are nothing but a crazy ass jerk!" - You Fucked That Man's Car Up

"Suck a racehorse's bootyhole / Suck a snow leopard's ass / Suck a constipated goat's dick / Suck my doberman pincher's cock" - Suck My Dog's Dick

"Christmas is Jesus Christ's birthday! / That's what it is all about in the mix!" - Merry Christmas

Once upon a time, I was cursing at Daniels Chapel AME Zion Church / I called one of the deacons a motherfucker / Reverend Henry E. Miller preached about my vulgar language / He told the congregation in the sanctuary that I got a nasty filthy mouth" - They Threw Me Out of Church

Here's what I'm going to have to say to all of you. If some of you have demons in your head who talk to you in profanity or whatever, don't let your demon shoot down your rock music, don't let your demon keep you off the joy bus. So like I say, Rock music pays off.

"I love your movies! I love you, too!" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

"It's the end of World War I / It's the end of World War II!" - It's the End of the Western

My demons talk to me in profanity. They think I'm a jerk. A bum. And an asshole. I just say they're a jerk, they're a bum, they're an asshole. They're no good. They better leave me alone and get off my case.

"Spider-Man messed with my girlfriend / Spider-Man wrapped his arms around her with my bedroom door closed / Suddenly, I opened the bedroom door on Spider-Man's sneaky ass / I caught him kissing my girlfriend and beat him to a pulp with a rubber hose" - I Whipped Spider-Man's Ass

"Jim Sym got on my ass for screaming like a wild animal at Genesis on Western / I freaked out a lot of customers / I also said 'suck my dick' in front of a lot of people" - Outburst

At 10:00 PM, I drove my bronco back to Birdman's real estate / I jumped over his fence after dark / I picked up a brick and shattered Birdman's window pane / Birdman sighted me doing it and reached for his pistol / Suddenly I jumped back in my bronco and took off like O.J. Simpson" - Birdman Kicked My Ass

"Batman beat the hell out of me and knocked me to the floor / I got back up and knocked him to the floor / He was being such a jack off" - I Whupped Batman's Ass

"I have a mean schizophrenia demon in my head / My demon racks me with profanity / My demon tells me lies and says I'm a jerk, a bum and an asshole / My demon keeps me from joy bus riding by torturing me" - Wesley Willis