William Maginn Quotes

In general, in-door prospects are the best. What purling brook matches the music of my gurgling bottle? What is an old roofless cathedral compared to a well-built pie?

A band of gallant souls, who knew </br> The olive wood, the mountain blue, </br> The ration rum, the biscuit black, </br> The long bleak road, the bivouac, </br> The cannon's thunder, and the bays </br> That wave o'er glorious victories, </br> Better than city's midnight dress, </br> Her luxuries, and gaudiness.

In order to know what cod really is, you must eat it in Newfoundland.

In literature and in love we generally begin in bad taste.

He whose friendship is worth having, must hate and be hated.

No cigar-smoker ever committed suicide.

You've heard, I suppose, long ago, </br> How the snakes, in a manner most antic, </br> He march'd to the County Mayo, </br> And trundled them into th' Atlantic. </br> Hence not to use water for drink </br> The people of Ireland determine; </br> With mighty good reason, I think, </br> Since St Patrick has fill'd it with vermin, </br> And vipers, and other such stuff.

Claret should always be decanted.

Much is to be said in favour of toasted cheese for supper.

Every popular preacher is a goose.

Ass-milk, they say, tastes exceedingly like woman's. No wonder.

Maxims are hard reading, demanding a constant stretch of the intellectual faculties. Every word must be diligently pondered, every assertion examined in all its bearings, pursued with a keen eye to its remotest consequences, rejected with a philosophic calmness, or treasured up with the same feeling as a "κτημα ες αει" — a "possession to eternity."

Marrying girls is a nice matter always; for they are as cautious as crows plundering a corn-field. ... I don't myself, I profess, upon principle, see any objection to marrying a widow. ... If a woman, however, has had more than three husbands, she poisons them: avoid her.

Poetry is like claret, one enjoys it only when it is very new, or when it is very old.

No tom cat ever paid more determined attention to mouse-catching pastime, than did the General to his favourite pleasure of pouncing upon the invalid officer, who but dared to show himself out of his melancholy quarters. He conceived that no man could possibly be sick, who was able to move his legs; and if a half dead officer could but smoke a cigar, or twist the corners of his mouth into a smile, the whole medical staff could not have persuaded the General out of his opinion, that such a person was not only in excellent health, but fit to brave the rudest weather, and the severest duties of the field.