William Maginn Quotes

No cigar-smoker ever committed suicide.

The wight can tell </br> A melancholy and a merry tale </br> Of field, and fight, and chief, and lady gay.

No tom cat ever paid more determined attention to mouse-catching pastime, than did the General to his favourite pleasure of pouncing upon the invalid officer, who but dared to show himself out of his melancholy quarters. He conceived that no man could possibly be sick, who was able to move his legs; and if a half dead officer could but smoke a cigar, or twist the corners of his mouth into a smile, the whole medical staff could not have persuaded the General out of his opinion, that such a person was not only in excellent health, but fit to brave the rudest weather, and the severest duties of the field.

Tap claret tastes best out of a pewter pot.

In literature and in love we generally begin in bad taste.

Ass-milk, they say, tastes exceedingly like woman's. No wonder.

Every popular preacher is a goose.

Marrying girls is a nice matter always; for they are as cautious as crows plundering a corn-field. ... I don't myself, I profess, upon principle, see any objection to marrying a widow. ... If a woman, however, has had more than three husbands, she poisons them: avoid her.

He whose friendship is worth having, must hate and be hated.

Never wear a coat with a velvet collar.

In general, in-door prospects are the best. What purling brook matches the music of my gurgling bottle? What is an old roofless cathedral compared to a well-built pie?

The safety of women consists in one circumstance: Men do not possess at the same time the knowledge of thirty-five and the blood of seventeen.

The best of all pies is a grouse-pie.

Much is to be said in favour of toasted cheese for supper.

Whenever you see a book frequently advertised, you may be pretty sure it is a bad one. If you see a puff quoted in the advertisement, you may be quite sure.