Top 15 Wilson Mizner Quotes

if you copy from one author, it’s plagiarism, but if you copy from many, it’s research.

Be nice to people on your way up because you will meet them on your way down.

If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.

If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research.

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

You can't be a rascal for 40 years and then cop a plea the last minute. God keeps better books than that.

I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.

Tell 'em to count to ten over him and he'll get up.

Stop dying. Am trying to write a comedy.

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.

It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.

...a trip through a sewer in a glass-bottom boat.