Top 15 Wilson Mizner Quotes

American writer

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Wilson Mizner (May 19, 1876 – April 3, 1933) was an American playwright, raconteur, and entrepreneur. His best-known plays are The Deep Purple, produced in 1910, and The Greyhound, produced in 1912. He was manager and co-owner of The Brown Derby restaurant in Los Angeles, California, and was affiliated with his brother, Addison Mizner, in a series of scams and picaresque misadventures that inspired Stephen Sondheim's play entitled Bounce!.

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if you copy from one author, it’s plagiarism, but if you copy from many, it’s research.

Be nice to people on your way up because you will meet them on your way down.

If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.

If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research.

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

You can't be a rascal for 40 years and then cop a plea the last minute. God keeps better books than that.

I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.

Tell 'em to count to ten over him and he'll get up.

Stop dying. Am trying to write a comedy.

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.

It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.

...a trip through a sewer in a glass-bottom boat.