Matthew Hussey Quotes

Having integrity is about knowing what your own standards are and being completely comfortable with them.

It’s OK to be disappointed that someone didn’t turn out to be the one. But don’t grieve as if they were the one. If they didn’t choose you, they’re not.

Seek values, not facts

What we really want to know about someone in our first conversations is what kind of person he or she is. You want to know if he shares your values, whether he's ambitious, kind, intellectual, and curious. You aren't going to find out these things by knowing that he works in investment banking, lives downtown , and likes to go to the movies.

Uncertain people are followers, looking to others for approval. Frightened to say what they feel in case others don’t feel the same, they adapt to fit in with everyone else.

She’s adventurous, but knows how to relax; outgoing, but knows how to be cozy and intimate; sexual, but knows how to be sweet.

If you have those teammate traits — if you’re the one who’s trustworthy, kind, committed, communicative, consistent, generous — then you’ve got the rare stuff that’s worth fighting for. It’s also the rare stuff you should protect. And if someone doesn’t recognize those qualities in you, they’ll never value what’s valuable in you. You should keep them at arm’s length until they do. In the meantime, they’re definitely not a person worth fighting for.

Remember, the pain of rejection is nothing compared to the pain of regret.

There will come a day, perhaps not far in the future, when you will look at pictures of yourself at the age you are now, and you’ll be shocked at how young and beautiful you were. Perhaps you will be amazed that you spent any time at all focusing on your perceived flaws and failings instead of pursuing the things you wanted. You will see a person who had all of her life ahead of her, a woman with so many possibilities, so many opportunities and choices. Take advantage of them now.

If you’re older, you can play two cards: you bring a level of maturity and knowledge of the world and life (and sex, by the way) that a guy might not be able to get with a younger woman, and you also demonstrate youthful qualities like a desire for fun and adventure. This is a powerful and sexy combination of traits. Men aren’t attracted to young women, they are attracted to youth-fulness. Youth is something we do, not something we are.

The difference is the tourist mindset. Tourists walk around inquisitively. They ask directions, they talk to locals when they meet them, they ask random people about the area, and often they get chatty when they go out because they want to meet people. Because of this everyone in the city seems friendly and responds to them by being warm and open. Tourists, unlike most locals, treat the city as a playground where they can meet anybody

If you consider yourself to be an introvert,
I’m about to give you three words
That are going to change the way you think of attraction forever.
Peak-End Rule
The Peak-End Rule:
The psychological heuristic in which people judge an experience largely based on how they felt at it’s peak and at it’s end, rather than based on the total sum or average.
To understand this rule … you need only think of a Broadway show, a movie, or a concert, and how there are moments in these shows that can actually be quite boring. There are moments in a concert where there are 5 songs in a row that you don’t care about. But if the concert, if the movie, if that Broadway show, ends with a bang, or has a really emotional peak moment somewhere within it … that tends to be the part that we remember. It colors our entire experience of the thing. If you are an introvert the psychology of this is gold to you.

If confronted, a guy might slip into vague mumbo-jumbo, but when he’s being up-front he’s likely to say one of the following: She was just nice (there was no edge, no challenge) She was boring She was too aggressive She’s a gold digger She was too superficial She came across as too desperate She was trying too hard to impress She was too negative She’s a drama queen and would be a nightmare over the long term There wasn’t any chemistry

Once you just get curious about people and places, you lose all that anxiety about approaching people. You lose that ridiculous idea that every interaction has two possible outcomes: approval or rejection.

Even a woman who’s shy in public still sings in the car when she hears her favorite song. She has a side to her that others rarely see, a side that is silly, playful, and spontaneous. Likewise, there are strong, certain women who go nuts for expensive French lingerie, and playful, spontaneous women who’ve disciplined themselves to meditate for thirty minutes every morning for their entire adult life. Do all of their friends know this about them? Not likely.

but there’s no poetry in a relationship until the two of you start working together on something that will stand the test of time. Don’t overvalue the poet when there’s no actual poetry.