You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be… - Jarod Kintz

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You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll also be late.

Jarod Kintz

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it. · 2012 Verified in 1 source Sign up to see the complete provenance

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About Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz is an American author of absurdist humor, known for self-published collections of surreal one-liners and random thoughts. His prolific, often meta-titled works include "This Book is Not for Sale," "99 Cents for Some Nonsense," and "This Book Title is Invisible," published largely through Amazon Kindle. Widely quoted online for his deadpan, nonsensical voice, he describes himself as a writer, absurdist, and duck farmer based in the American South.

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her.

He was just a kid. He didn’t care. He was like, “I’m getting in my mom’s van and I’m going home.” I was just a kid, too. But I cared. With him gone, who was I going to play Plato and Socrates with?

The darkness has ink eyes, and if you stare long enough, you’re going to see it blink black. That’s the moment to start writing.

You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll also be late. - Jarod Kintz

About Jarod Kintz

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Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz