It has not been easy for me

though I was afraid of many things, the thing I feared most mortally was being afraid. I

I have had a life in which I have had to face every big fear, and it has not been pleasant.

Oh, it was awful, and I vowed to myself I would never, ever push myself to the edge that much again. It was really frightening. Because absolutely everything seemed to be impossible to deal with, just little things became major - noise, if someone had a radio on, or even the sound of traffic, or being in someone's company for longer than 10 minutes - I started to find it all too much.

By this time I was thoroughly terrified, not so much fearing death as the treachery of my own kind.

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk.

I did see what people were saying about me and I was terrified.

Because of my inability to write, things became very difficult for me and I was very apprehensive at how this would all end.

Felt like the hardest thing in the world.

It was traumatising. I crawled on one side to go to the toilet. It was scary

I spent a lot of my life afraid as a kid, even throughout high school. https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-unmaking-of-a-conservative-pundit

Fear came in so much in my life that it did everything but completely stop me. When I was a little girl, I so wanted to be sociable, but I was scared that I wasn't going to be able to speak a sentence because I had such a bad stammer...

When I was a small child, for some reason—and I don’t know if this was from cartoons or movies or what—I was very frightened of skeletons. I also was very afraid of the dark. I used to have incredibly terrible nightmares. I was afraid of everything as a child. Now look what I’m doing.

Well, I was ten and very much afraid. In my kind world the dead were out of range And I could not forgive the sad or strange In beast or man.