The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said,… - Emo Philips

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The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said, "If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip... which, according to your own very latest government Pentagon spending figures, will more than make up the difference."

Emo Philips

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About Emo Philips

Emo Philips (born Philip Soltanec 7 February 1956) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice actor, writer and producer. He is known for his eccentric appearance, surreal humor, and the bizarre cadence of his voice in the delivery of his lines.

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Also Known As

Birth Name: Philip Soltanec

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Additional quotes by Emo Philips

I got into a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"

Never judge someone until you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do judge him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said, "If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip... which, according to your o… - Emo Philips

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