The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said,… - Emo Philips

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The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said, "If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip... which, according to your own very latest government Pentagon spending figures, will more than make up the difference."

Emo Philips

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About Emo Philips

Emo Philips (born Philip Soltanec 7 February 1956) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice actor, writer and producer. He is known for his eccentric appearance, surreal humor, and the bizarre cadence of his voice in the delivery of his lines.

Biography information from Wikiquote

Also Known As

Birth Name: Philip Soltanec

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David Sedaris Steven Wright Rodney Dangerfield Jarod Kintz J. D. Salinger

Additional quotes by Emo Philips

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was... conscious. … But I love her from the hair on her head to the tag on her toes.

Never judge someone until you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do judge him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

When I was ten, my family moved to Downers Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.

The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said, "If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip... which, according to your o… - Emo Philips

About Emo Philips

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Additional quotes by Emo Philips