I live in Florida, and when people ask how close to the bea… - Jarod Kintz

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I live in Florida, and when people ask how close to the beach I am, I say, “Twelve minutes or twelve hours. Depends on which beach you want to go to.

Jarod Kintz

Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life Verified in 1 source Sign up to see the complete provenance

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About Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz is an American author of absurdist humor, known for self-published collections of surreal one-liners and random thoughts. His prolific, often meta-titled works include "This Book is Not for Sale," "99 Cents for Some Nonsense," and "This Book Title is Invisible," published largely through Amazon Kindle. Widely quoted online for his deadpan, nonsensical voice, he describes himself as a writer, absurdist, and duck farmer based in the American South.

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

When your action is gone, and all that’s left is motionlessness, I’ll be there, whistling.

I run like I have cirrus clouds for legs and rainbow knees. What is life, if not a marathon of love?

A lawyer, a politician, and a prostitute walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” And I’d have to agree. Serves them right for being so sleazy.

I live in Florida, and when people ask how close to the beach I am, I say, “Twelve minutes or twelve hours. Depends on which beach you want to go to. - Jarod Kintz

About Jarod Kintz

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Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz