As much as I would love to know what you know, I’d much rather eat your brain with a spoon. - Jarod Kintz

I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything.

If you expect others to think for you, then you expect others to live your life for you. And I’m sorry, but the only person I’ll let live my life for me is my clone. He thinks like me, so I’m OK with him thinking for me.

I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman.