If love were a color, it’d be transparent, like all women’s clothing should be. - Jarod Kintz

A wink and a smirk walk into a bar, and the bartender asked them what they were drinking, when all of the sudden a mustache in a cowboy hat riding a vagina runs through the door, and right there I have to stop the joke, because not only does it not have a punch line, but that punch line was kidnapped, and if it’s ever found, it will probably be rated Not Safe For Work.

My love for you is like a Florida sunset. Orange, coral, pink, and lavender, it exists to warm your heart through the inevitable darkness.

When I hear your name, I involuntarily clench my butt cheeks. Is that love? I don’t know — I’m not Nicholas Sparks.