I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. - Woody Allen

It reminds me of that old joke- you know, a guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, hey doc, my brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Then the doc says, why don't you turn him in? Then the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. I guess that's how I feel about relationships. They're totally crazy, irrational, and absurd, but we keep going through it because we need the eggs.

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.