Couldn’t we at least . . . ?” is a good way to get unstuck. It is a way to get past disagreement to form some consensus, as in, “Couldn’t we at least… - James E. Ryan

Albert Einstein, in a classic humble brag, once remarked: “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” The first half of that statement was surely false, while the second half was undoubtedly true.

As parents (and teachers), you try to help solve problems, both big and small. Very often, you think you know what the solution is, so you offer your idea — or a whole slew of ideas. Yet sometimes offering solutions simply fuels the anxiety or stubbornness that your kids or students are feeling, just as occurred with the boy in ski school. If you instead listen patiently and silently to their concerns and complaints, and then ask how you can help, it changes the conversation. It usually causes my own kids to pause. They think about whether I can actually help them and, if so, how. More often than not, they eventually tell me that I can’t really do anything. But in saying this they are already starting to figure out the problem for themselves. What they most needed to do was vent, get some sympathy, and figure out a solution for themselves.

The explosion of information fueled by the internet and social media should in theory help bring us into contact and engagement with ideas, facts, and beliefs that challenge our own, which in turn should help us moderate our views and keep an open mind. In reality, the opposite is happening.