I talked to him on Christmas, and again on March 5th. Neither one of us hung up the phone that whole time. - Jarod Kintz

I wrote this because someone put a gun to my head and said, “Write.” And do you know how long it takes to type with one hand while your other hand is shaking from holding a loaded Sig Sauer? Well, at least twice as long.

No matter how bad things get, just keep looking up. Just keep looking up her skirt. Or his kilt.

When I turn thirty, in thirty days or so, I might be feeling old, so I’ll probably call my grandma up, because as old as I’ll feel, she’ll be feeling older. Twelve years older.