I wish the masses of people would all follow my advice, because I'd throw it off a cliff. - Jarod Kintz

Dogs have four legs, just like chairs. I would take mine for a walk, but I’m sitting on it.

Her name is Denise, and she has green eyes and red hair. Well, this week. Last week her hair was dyed blonde, and she had blue eyes. Or maybe that was a different woman. I don’t know. All I know is that she is my soul mate.

So I got a new job, and I start tomorrow. I’m excited to have a job, and bummed out I’m going to be working.