I make friends as easily as water freezes in an active volc… - Jarod Kintz

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I make friends as easily as water freezes in an active volcano. Remember: handshakes feel more natural if you leave your rubber gloves at home. Unless you enjoy networking in public restrooms.

Jarod Kintz

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About Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz is an American author of absurdist humor, known for self-published collections of surreal one-liners and random thoughts. His prolific, often meta-titled works include "This Book is Not for Sale," "99 Cents for Some Nonsense," and "This Book Title is Invisible," published largely through Amazon Kindle. Widely quoted online for his deadpan, nonsensical voice, he describes himself as a writer, absurdist, and duck farmer based in the American South.

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I’m on a government watch list. But I’m not interested, because government watches only work twenty minutes out of every hour.

My baseball team is called the I Ams. Just me and my clones on the roster. We’re devastating. Well, at least I am.

I travel light. But not at the same speed.

I make friends as easily as water freezes in an active volcano. Remember: handshakes feel more natural if you leave your rubber gloves at home. Unles… - Jarod Kintz

About Jarod Kintz

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz